Checking in quickly to let any local photographers who are just starting out & ready to begin this journey that I have 1 workshop spot for Spring/Summer. I usually only take on 4 workshops a year & spread them out through the seasons. This year I am also taking them on a case by case basis. So if you think the spot is filled up already, email(info@brennagentry.com) anyway & let me know your story & what you are trying to do with your business.
I gear these workshops toward the very new in business photographers. I can teach you how to understand shooting manual in a very easy & hands on way, talk about business mistakes I made so you don't have to, pricing & policies, editing & more. I would have given anything to have done something like this when I first started & so that's why I do them. I love building new relationships & seeing you succeed. You are also pretty much available to free info for life as any workshop attendees can vouch for haha I become very invested... and I am an open book. I have a few workshop images below & for more info on the workshop with me READ HERE.
{For the techies: Shot on 5d mkII w/ 50mm 1.2L & edited using Classic Workflow from Florabella Actions}
I shared a couple of these on my facebook awhile back & am just now getting around to sharing them here. I found this location on my way to Kroger one day & just happen to see it at the perfect time when light was hitting it. I knew I needed to test it & so Sara(scooterknits) thankfully modeled for me. I love her for that:) I picked up some lace from Joann Fabric & the rest is has become photographic evidence. These are some of my favorite images from last year & I hope you enjoy them too!
{For the techies: Shot on 5d mkII w/ 50mm 1.2L & edited using Classic Workflow from Florabella Actions}
I'm so into listening to this song on repeat the past couple of days. Here is a good live version for you to check out:)
You will have to bear with me for a bit here... in fact if you just want to stop reading now, I would understand. I am writing this for my own personal therapy...and then hope that something along the way will connect with someone else. You won't see a bunch of pretty photos. You won't read me talking about how cool someone/something was the day of our shoot. You won't read about a new photo event you need to be a part of. I'm having a conversation about death. I can't say it's a subject I know much about or one that I can even begin to really understand. It happens. I know that much to be true. As I write this I am not really 100% sure that I will post it... either way let's back it up a second....
What Happened?
I lost a very close cousin on Friday(the 13th of course). A son, brother, uncle, cousin, friend that is now gone. I had discussed with my sister recently how whenever someone dies(at the time we were talking about extremely rare freak accidents- which THIS case was NOT)it's the family & friends that have to endure the suffering as the loved one is gone & even with a life cut short etc..they aren't the ones dealing with the loss. I've been incredibly lucky to have only dealt with 2 other deaths before this.. and that is something I don't take for granted. It does slightly terrify me as I feel like my time to suffer from death will deliver in a 'snow ball' fashion...but I digress. So, I have been in a odd daze & keeping myself VERY busy by cleaning, cleaning...AND CLEANING. I've been anti-social other than direct family members & have had my son with my at most times so that has helped me to keep myself in check. Of course, explaining to him the situation is a totally different challenge.
Loss
You hear people say 'A part of me died with ______'... my Dad said this in regard to our current loss (as he lost not only his cousin, but a best friend), but he explained it a bit more. You have relationships with people & in those relationships you each know the other in a way that NOBODY else does. You know them in a way that others don't & they know YOU in a way that others don't. So if they die... that relationship & dynamic goes with them, which is a part of you. I personally had never thought of it in that way. I see it clearly now & it's so true.
Grief
This is something that everyone experiences & handles differently. For me... I get quiet, distracted, nostalgic, and become consumed with thoughts of those I have lost in the past, the person I lost in that moment & the people that I am terrified to lose. I am usually anti-social for a bit, but then need to vent & talk about what happened. Share memories & 'attempt' to feel normal again. How long will it last? I don't know.. I know things fade & each day gets easier & easier.. it's the moments that hit you out of nowhere that can throw you off course a bit, but they have to happen... I guess.
Regrets
One of the toughest parts for me personally & I'm sure for most people. No matter what you do it seems you will always have regrets. I have regrets from a loss that happened over 10 years ago that will still bring me to tears if I think about it too long. There is nothing you can do except to try & correct it with someone else. In this situation my biggest regret happens to be photography related. I had convinced him to let me take some really cool 60's style portraits of him in his home surrounded by his belongings. I had him committed to dressing up in his best & coolest pieces of his wardrobe that usually only came out for special occasions. We were excited.. but it got cold & had to be postponed as he didn't do well in the cold, even indoors. Unfortunately it never happened... and now I sit & beat myself up every day that I don't have a photo of him that would encompass as much of him as we had planned. A real portrait.... of him, in his environment & with the things he was so passionate about. Too late now & that is one of the many things I will try to work on & work through.
Empathy
I feel bad for myself of course, but more importantly I feel just devastated for others... the ones who lost 'more' than me. My dad for one, just because I knew their relationship so well, I know how hard it is for him & I know what he lost. I think about my Great Uncle & how he must be feeling & being alone in a big home with memories & regrets. I can't even begin to imagine losing a child no matter the age or the relationship. My grandparents had to experience that loss 2 years ago & are still experiencing it of course. His brothers.... they lost their oldest brother. Someone that they loved & grew up with that's all that it really comes down to no matter how volatile or strained the dynamic could sometimes be. The nieces & nephews... this is a tough one for me... I feel awful for their loss for many many reasons, but I also feel sad for them in general that they are still fairly young. I'm not much older than them, but I do have the switch that got triggered after having a child & I also just have some extra years to try to wrap my mind around life. I lost my Aunt 2 years ago & it was life changing in ways I would have NEVER guessed. With having a strained relationship & so much drama surrounding her life it hit me differently than I would have expected. I was also so very thankful that I was older & 'knew more' about what was important than I did a few years before that. It is something that will stick with you & I just hope that they don't have too many regrets & I am sad for them that he didn't get to see any more of their lives unfold.
Routine
He is the first person that I have lost that I talked to on the phone regularly. This has been interesting. He would always leave messages if I missed the call & it's weird to think that I can't call him, or even miss a call from him to get a voicemail anymore. That has made the situation a little more difficult, but also clears me of any regrets of not talking to him enough etc. In my childhood I went to the farm he lived on for many many reasons & spent a ton of time out there, as an adult I went less often, but when I went it was only to visit him. I hope I can find a way to take myself back out there to visit with other family & allow Harrison to have some similar experiences. It's a special place to me & I don't want to let it go.
If you have made it this far... I'm impressed. This has made me feel a bit better writing it all down. I do hope that someone else gets something out of it as well. Last but not least... let me share with you some things I loved about my cousin Jim.
-He loved children. He never had children & was really like a child himself a lot of the time. A true child at heart & shared nothing but the BEST parts of his soul with all the children in the family. He bought toys from almost everywhere that he went just to make sure he had something to give the kids that came to visit or that we went to visit. EVERY SINGLE hot wheels car my son has came from Jim.
-He was just a giver in general. He not only gave Harrison toys, but he would always give me stuff as well. I would always get kind of mad at him for it & to be honest at times I felt bad because I felt like he gave people stuff as a 'bribe' to get them to visit him more. I do know that he truly wanted to give me all of the items he did & I cherish them so much.
-He used the word 'darlin'. I liked that. He mainly used it when he was sick or feeling kind of pitiful... but I always liked it when he called me that.
-He was one of kind...and I am NOT using that phrase lightly.. I can say with 100% certainty I WILL NEVER & HAVE NEVER known anyone like him. That's why I've always told stories about him and always given him a title of 'The legend Jim Gentry'
-There are few stories I enjoy telling more than a Jim Gentry story.
-I can't sugar coat everything... Jim was a handful sometimes. He would throw a fit easier than about anyone I have ever known. He would say the most awful things during a fit.. so awful that I had to laugh at it all... but something about Jim allowed you to never really be mad at him. He came by it naturally really & he could be calmed down if you talked to him right.
-It was those ^^ moments that made me enjoy another quality about him... even though he would throw a fit.. he actually LISTENED when you told him what to do to make it better. It may take a few minutes to sink in, but he would take what you said & actually think about it. That's something that I think got overlooked by others sometimes.
-An excellent memory & I would bet a MILLION dollars that he could answer(correctly) ANY Beatles(or individual member), Vols, or Baseball trivia.
-He knew dates & numbers.. and kept up with time so precisely it would get you in trouble sometimes. Things like.. 'they haven't called me in 13 days & 2 hours' or me:'you still have awhile until it gets here, don't worry about it now' him: 'It's in 27 days!'. He would also give out information like "We did that in early August of 1967" he remembered dates for EVERYTHING. Very impressive really.
-I always appreciated that as I grew up he allowed me to become an adult to him. Yes he still cared about me as a child.. but gave me the respect to talk and treat me like I was on the same level as himself & my dad. Although, sometimes he DID say things & I WISHED he treated me like a child;)
-He had t-shirts made for his 60th birthday... that is AWESOME.
I could go on & on.. & believe me there is so much more. Jim had almost 500 people show up to the visitation and as my dad said, "That's pretty amazing for such a squirrely guy" :) He will be missed by so many.
This about wraps up the post... and I think I have decided to publish it here for public viewing. A couple of days ago I thought I wouldn't ,but thinking about it now I know that Jim would want me to, he would want to have SOME info about him out there somewhere. Even if only 3 people actually read this, it would have made him feel good. So if you did read this, THANK YOU.
Jim had Crohn's Disease & was not expected to even make it past his late teens early twenties. He had ups & downs with his health, but overall maintained his health fairly well until this past year. At 62 years old his body eventually gave out. There was not a public service & the family asked all memorials to be donated to the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America .
Jim loved music, especially The Beatles & therefor loved Paul McCartney. He got to see him perform many times & thankfully I got to attend my first Paul concert with Jim, my sister & bro-in law. It was a night I will never forget for so many reasons. I was trying to find footage from the Nashville show that we were at, but was having a hard time finding good quality videos. I also couldn't make my mind up on a song to share. We loved them all... well except for this random cover.. I am posting this instead because Jim was so irritated by it & it was hilarious.
The Horton family was an all around cool & laid back family...right up my alley. The kids were down with having to be in front of the camera (not excited, but fine with it all) & all had such cool personalities. We did a bit of walking & no complaints! I love talking to kids on shoots, especially this age bracket...one of the best pieces of advice I can give to any photographer is to TALK to the kids A LOT. You want to start by talking to the parents a little so the kids know that they can trust you... but spend the majority of your time talking to your subject. It will pay off, I promise. Enough chatter....
{For the techies: Shot on 5d mkII w/ 50mm 1.2L & edited using Classic Workflow from Florabella Actions}
This post is full of photos. Probably more than I have ever put into one post. I just couldn't help myself.. I loved working with Emily so much & her photos show that. Not only is Emily a complete sweetheart...she is gorgeous, smart & talented! An up & coming actress that has done many local productions & is well on her way to booking some huge jobs in NY. I'm certain we will work together in the future & can't wait to see what is ahead for her. Are you in need of some seriously awesome headshots?? Let's get you on the books.. email:info@brennagentry.com or use the contact link in the menu above:)
- Shot with 5D MKII w/ 50mm 1.2L & edited using Classic Workflow from Florabella Actions -
These last few photographs we did just for us. I always make sure to throw in some more creative images other than standard headshots & I am so glad that Emily was down. These are some of my faves from 2011.
Of course I have to have some music for you:
It's been 2 months since I blogged last. That's probably the longest I have ever gone. I had a very busy fall business wise & in my life in general. I took about 6 weeks working on my marketing & business side of things, I am always learning.. especially when it comes to the actual business side of it all. I am a mega 'right brained' person & I have to work a lot harder for the business side than I do for the creative side. I am a photographer because it's what I have wanted to do since I was 16. I am a business owner because I want to create a place for my passion that can have a front seat in my life. Of course my business ALSO needs to be successful(financially) so that I can support my family. So it's a journey & at times a struggle. My 2011 clients were wonderful & I appreciate you all so much! I hope 2012 brings me the same + some:)
I'm into year three of my 'official' business launch & I def have some expectations that need to be met by 2013. I just looked back at my resolutions from last year... and well, like most people I failed at most of them. Not all of them though, so that is a win. I did accomplish several & others I am actually still working on. So I will let those secretly roll over into this year's resolutions. Do I need some new ones? Of course....
Business/Photography:
- see things vertically more than horizontally.(I've already started this one)
- continue putting myself out there & do LOTS more networking & partnering up with other vendors
- double my income from this year (yikes! will be hard, but must happen)
- follow through with all concepts & ideas I have had planned for months. (this one will be HARD)
- Shoot some film... perfect my craft & get back to my roots
